Would you charge an old lady for helping her across the road?
Would you?
Of course you wouldn’t.
Now, pretend you’re out on a boat and you bump into another boat that’s stranded out in the open sea.
Would you charge them for towing them back to shore?
Of course you wouldn’t. (well, let me tell you: the reality of the open seas is this: accepting an offer for a tow can be a very expensive mistake to make. The seas are full of sharks).
Would you charge a friend for advice you’re giving them? Especially when it helps them get out of a tricky situation?
Of course you wouldn’t.
Now, let me ask you this:
Would you charge (and do you always charge) a client for advice (especially when you know it’s really useful advice that’s going to help them get out of a tricky situation?)
Here’s the reality for the vast majority of people who are in the “helping profession”:
if you are a coach of any sort, more likely than not, you are not nearly charging enough for your services, and in many, many cases are not charging anything at all.
Which of course explains why the vast majority of coaches are barely getting by.
And as a coach, you’re also familiar with the concept of “limiting beliefs”.
A belief, that is in some way limiting you, your personal growth or the growth of your business.
My question to you: do you possibly hold the belief that
Helping Other People Is NOT something You Should Charge For!?
Hey, don’t get me wrong, that’s a perfectly good (I think: great) belief to have.
Helping others get out of tricky situations should be something we do voluntarily, it should be a selfless act…
… when it comes to everyday kindness and willingness to help others out.
However, when it comes to running a business that has the potential to impact a lot of others, possibly the world (think: Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, …), then you have to draw the line somewhere.
And my feeling is that for most coaches that’s a very tricky thing. The drawing of lines I mean.
My question to you then:
Where you are drawing the line?
and
How true do YOU hold the belief that one shouldn’t charge for helping others? (and how does it impact the way you “sell” your coaching services)
let me know by leaving a comment below
Veit
11 Responses to “Would you charge an old lady for helping her across the road?”
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If You Have chosen to Help someone accross the street you do it out of kindness. If you are in business to help someone accross the street. the intention and expectation are totally different.
Hi Veit,
Great post! I am both an Internet Marketer and a Coach and I know that sometimes, in my desire to help my team, I spend to much time helping them rather than directing them to the right learning resource. This might sound a bit churlish but here is the real point: If you take this approach consistently then you can create a dependency culture (not good for creating leverage in your business) and more importantly remove the opportunity for your students to benefit from that great feeling of having figured something out for themselves!
Thanks for the reminder!
Great post! That’s why when people ask to pick my brain, I tell them, “No, but you can rent my brain.”
Amen!
Hello Veit,
Once again you’ve revealed a very relevant conundrum.
I have personally discovered a similar situation in my past
(that scarred me with the inability to get paid for providing value)
with my Mom and my Grandmother.
I used to ride my bike across town to help Grandma shop for groceries
(because she was unable to do it herself) and one day she gave me five
dollars at which my Mom freaked out and scolded me for accepting from her.
My Grandma understood the value in what I provided her, while my Mom was
busy reprimanding me for accepting money from a needy little old lady.
Realizing that was quite an aha moment for me and sometimes I think I
still wrestle with that faulty early programing from somewhere deep inside.
Excellent and fantastically helpful observation Veit.
Thanks,
Rick
Great post. Have been thinking about that very topic, both for me and many of the clients I work with. We so much want to be of service, that often we don’t look after ourselves well enough. This can lead to health problems and burn out and financial meltdowns.
Quite frankly I would love to live in a culture where in the words of Marx, the following principle prevailed:
“From each according to his ability, to each according to their need.”
However, the fact is we live in a global economy dominated by countries which put profit before people. We do not have collective structures that allow many of us to give our all, and to receive what we need.
Thus coaches, social entrepreneurs, and activists have to find ways to balance our love and concern for others, with taking care of our financial and other needs. Or else our “everyday kindness and willingness to help others out “results in a lack of kindness and willingness to help ourselves.”
Good Day Doc!
After considering this article, I would not charge an old lady to help her across the street, as the question is written. To do so would be an act of neighborly love, if there were no expectation of recompense on my part.
However, if I told her that you shall surely die if you attempt to cross the street on your own and then lay upon her a “value fee” that she is to pay me for the service, well, that is a horse of a different color. I have now envoked fear to the act of legitimate benvolence in exchange for a price. Yeah, you may get a couple extra dollars for that, but you will certianly reap what was sown in the act. It is a matter of heart.
That being said, If in fact I do provide assistance and the old lady does recognize the value you have provided, I would be a fool NOT to receive her gift. In this manner you are placed in a “win-win” situation, in that, even if you do not immediately gain in the giving, the act alone must be paid. Trust me when I say this, it is paid and paid and paid, maybe not at that moment but when you least expect it.
The business aspect is a bit tricky if communication and expectation are not clear. If this is your means of a living, then no one should be surprised that there is a fee for service if it is done properly. Meaning both parties understand the quid pro quo. The service must be successful, all things being equal. If the desired results are not achieved and the coach has done all that is reasonable to do, you should retain your fee and sleep well. If in fact, the teacher falls short in form or function, the student must be made whole in a way that the student still receives something of value, whether it be additional teaching, gratis, or a refund of fees.
Doc thanks for this thought provoking article. I’m sure there are various schools of thought on the matter.
Take care and be well…
Hi there Veit, Loved this latest post, very relevant in my case too, I have been stuck in a limiting belief of giving for free, I had been conditioned to this and of course it is great to help another out, but business is business and this article is a true reminder that I have so much too offer a lot of people and being a paying customer is reality for value of my services products provided, never having been a business woman before, I am excited to break out into my Entrepreneurial venture. I will always be a giver and this will guide me to keep a balance, my customers will feel confident and trust me because of this!
Thanks again Veit.
Nicola
Good point. I’ve learned to say
“This sounds like a session”
Call me to book a time
I can really relate to what you’re saying. I am a coach, just starting out and while I have recently been focusing on figuring out a way to make those marketing calls I have not yet made (using your Resolution Repair system), I am also very well aware that it’s easy and fun to give free advice, but I’ve yet to have a paid session.
The idea of it used to scare me – that first time. But I’ve been working with PSYCH-K, a technique to change limiting beliefs held by the subconscious mind (it’s actually the basis of my coaching practice), and that system, along with your Resolution Repair, has helped me release that fear.
It’s no question that it’s a complicated process to start any business and we helpers who do the coaching type services are particularly prone to wanting to help and forgetting that this is a business. I totally agree.
But, we have to remember that a doctor might give you a few seconds of advice at a cocktail party, but he quickly hands you his business card and tells you to make an appointment. No one I’ve ever run across is upset with that, because…
The doctor KNOWS what he/she does has value, is highly trained to know the value of the work, so there’s no hesitation there, no sense of “I should stop my day and help this person outside the clinical setting.”
Maybe if we looked at it as if we were a doctor (not the diagnosing bit, you get what I mean) but that we need to see the person, get more details, in a professional setting, before we can help, then providing a few moments of help and handing out a business card might come more naturally to us. I’m certainly going to give it a try. I’m WORTH IT!
Thanks Veit, for that great article.
Good food for thought. I used to struggle with this until I heard enough stories of healers working for free only to see their poor client in a new car or showing off a brand new TV. And they of course pay the doctor who charges way more for a ten minute visit with no problem. So maybe they don’t really see the value? I also learned from my own behavior that when I pay a good dollar for a program I put a lot more into it than when I attend for free.
Generally, if I offer someone help I give it freely. If they call for an appointment and they are clients, I charge.